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The first thing she said that really blew my mind was that there are seven things that make up someone’s biological sex. I knew gender was a spectrum, but I have no idea that sex was, too. I was taught that it was the simplest thing out there. Female and male. Boom, end of conversation. Biological Sex (2:23-2:49)
Important: sex ≠ gender
I started writing this blog post a while ago, planning to talk about gender dysphoria, until I realized Emily needed her own spotlight. She is an exceptional speaker doing important work. The myth that sex = gender is extremely harmful, especially to transgender people who know that’s not true. I hope this made you think. Further Research"Sex, Gender, and Why the Differences Matter," Jennifer Tseng (AMA Journal of Ethics) investigates how sex and gender influence doctors and patients on every level.
"Of mice, men and women: Making research more inclusive," Krista Conger (Stanford Medicine) follows a study trying to learn how a person's sex and gender influence their health and reaction to treatment. Fascinating. "Sex and Gender Identity," Planned Parenthood. Quoted above.
Remember the good. It's always there.
I was planning to post about how the Equal Rights Amendment was just ratified by Virginia, the 38th state to do so, only 97 years after the amendment was first introduced. This is massive news from both a historical and a women’s rights movement point of view. But then something happened on Saturday that tore away my focus. So, I’ll get back to that next week. Content warning: homophobia. At my writer’s group this Saturday, I was the target of a 60-year-old woman’s homophobic rant. Apparently, she doesn’t hate gay people, BUT she does feel like gays are always shoving it in her face. She pulled out all the cards: “she doesn’t hate gay people, she has gay friends” and that she knew I was gay (who doesn’t) and was still okay with me (thanks?). It got derailed a few times by how, well, young people are all so sensitive these days and don’t know hardship. To prove how much she liked me, she confessed about wanting to set me up with her son (my age, don’t worry). I felt ten kinds of disgust.
I cried. I felt trapped and when she put her hand on my shoulder, I felt like I couldn’t breathe. It sucked at the moment. I mean, it felt like punch after punch in the gut. After having time to step back from it, here's what I want to say: First of all, I don’t care about her. I barely know her and never have to see her again. She has her own stuff to work through or not work through- whatever it is, it isn’t about me. I don’t need an apology nor want a chance to yell back. If I did, if I was snide and rude and gay back, then she would be right. And I would be her new image of (all) gay people. I don’t want to hurt people, especially not just because I can. It can be tempting, but it never helps or heals anyone. In my life, I have been told all sorts of horrible things by children and adults alike for being gay. And female. And having a Latino dad and being proud of it. And for a million other things about me and my life that near-strangers think they get a say in. What made this time different was who else was in the room. The next youngest person was in her 30s-40s (I don’t know, I’m terrible at gauging people’s ages), the other three were 65+. The point is, I was the youngest. I could be their grandchild. To them, I’m a baby. A brilliant writer of a baby, but still a baby. That detail doesn’t really matter, but I think it helps to put the whole ordeal into perspective. What mattered was that while she was yelling at the world, they were worrying about me. One of them confessed that I wasn’t the only person who was uncomfortable by this conversation. She said she was bisexual- I smiled and said, “Yaaas,” on instinct- which she didn’t have to do. It helped me not feel alone. Then, she pulled out a lovely card from her purse with questions for restorative justice from the International Institute for Restorative Practices. One of them stayed quiet. When I checked my email later that evening, I got to read a validating and supportive message from her. It helped me a lot. Everyone has different ways of reaching out. Then there was the woman who’s house we were sitting in. An old German lady who’s life’s story could fill a whole, wonderful library. She always speaks softly, and carefully. Not in a hesitant way, but in a way that tells you that she has thought about what she wants to say. She stayed cool and collected, saying all of the right things. She said that we all make mistakes. She admitted she can say racist things sometimes without realizing it is so. It was the way she was raised. She said that when someone (especially someone of color) calls her out on it, instead of arguing the fact or getting defensive: she takes their word for it. She’s was like, “If they say my words were hurtful, I believe them.” It doesn’t matter that the ranter was hearing none of it. I took every her word and held it close to my heart. She hugged me when I left and it meant so much. The old man in our group held a flashlight over my path to the car. He knew I was thinking of not coming back- obviously- and said he would miss me. He said he loved me. My dear grandfather, Papa John, passed away recently. It’s been hard and I miss him a lot. Today, I called my grandmother. “One of the people who comes is this sweet, old man. He’s quiet and when he talks, it’s always meaningful,” I said, “Just like Papa John. And his laugh? He laughed like Papa John.” The difference between the countless hatred I have tolerated alone in the past and this was who I was surrounded by. I was in a room with one hurtful person and four more people who wanted to protect me and heal my wounds. They made all the difference. Pronouns are how we refer to someone without using their name. Instead of saying, “I love Jessica. Jessica is cool,” someone might say, “I love Jessica. She is cool.” Pronouns are super useful and we use them all the time in English (I don’t think all languages have them). We also use them to refer to a group of people (plural). If there are three people talking, I could point (rude, I know) and ask, “What are they talking about?”
Linguistically: Ask the DictionariesOxford (Read their blog post, “A Brief History of singular ‘they.’”), Cambridge, and Merriam-Webster dictionaries have all officially added something along the lines of “used to refer to someone of an unspecified gender” and/or “a gender-neutral person” to their definitions of "they.". Dictionary.com even has this handy usage guide about the pronoun. Additionally, the American Psychological Association "endorsed" the use of they as a singular pronoun. Any “grammar nut”* who claims that “they/them” pronouns are not “proper English” don’t actually know what they are talking about. Try suggesting they ask a linguist or English teacher and to confirm my claims. Chances are, the haters won’t because they don’t actually care about the grammar, they only pull out that card when it suits them. I think people only began having an opinion over the use of “they” as a singular pronoun after it started to be openly used by queer people who are gender-nuetral. I’ll never stop begging everyone I meet to read Word by Word by Kory Stamper, a lexicographer who works for Merriam-Webster. For now, I would like to share some of her thoughts because they definitely apply here. One of the biggest themes of her book is that language is fluid and controlled by no one. In her fourth chapter, “Irregardless - On Wrong Words,” Stamper talked about the word "irredgardless" and all of the comotion it caused. Remember that? “Of course ‘irregardless’ wasn’t a real word. ‘It’s a made-up word that was entered into the dictionary through constant use;’” she wrote. That’s how it works. “that’s pretty much how this racket works. “All words are made-up: Do you think we find them fully formed on the ocean floor, or mine for them in some remote part of Wales?” (pg. 65) So, even if you think "they" to refer to one person is a new thing (which it's not), new words are always popping up and other ones fade away. Who says "afeard" instead of "frightened" anymore? (Lexico). * I refuse to call even the most obnoxious people "grammar-nazis." The only people I call Nazis are actual Nazis. If you like the word, don’t worry, you don’t have to look far to find real ones. History of UseI’ve linked information about the history of this from Oxford Dictionary, Dictionary.com above, and, look, here’s another one: “The past, present, and future of the singular ‘they’” from Vox, “The pronoun is Merriam-Webster’s Word of the Year. Here’s why.” Here are the main (linguistic) points they all cover:
When It Gets QueerI’ve covered the fact that we all use "they" to refer to individuals in different ways all of the time. One day, someone will probably ask you to always use it when referring to them, specifically. Someone like me.
Using the correct pronouns for people matters. And for the price of just $0.00 you can help someone feel safe and not horrible by doing it! Finally, if you are still worried about the sanctity of the English language, I’d like to leave you with one more Stamper quote. We think of English as a child. We love and nurture it into being, and once it gains gross motor skills, it starts going exactly where we don’t want it to go: it heads right for the goddamned electrical sockets. We dress it in fancy clothes and tell it to behave, and it comes home with its underwear on its head and wearing someone else’s socks. As English grows, it lives its own life, and this is right and healthy, Sometimes English does exactly what we think it should; sometimes it goes places we don’t like and thrives there in spite of all our worrying. We can tell it to clean itself up and act more like Latin; we can throw tantrums and start learning French instead. But we will never really be the boss of it. And that’s why it flourishes.” (pg. 51; end of chapter 3, “It’s - On ‘Grammar’” tl;dr If someone asks you to use they/them pronouns for them: please, try your damn hardest to do so. It’s important. Oh, and, "they" aren’t going anywhere. Gender dysphoria. Whether you experience it yourself and feel like an expert or you have no idea what I’m talking about: that’s okay, please, keep reading. What is gender dysphoria? “For some transgender people, the difference between the gender they are thought to be at birth and the gender they know themselves to be can lead to serious emotional distress that affects their health and everyday lives if not addressed. Gender dysphoria is the medical diagnosis for someone who experiences this distress” (National Center for Transgender Equality, FAQs). “Gender dysphoria is extreme discomfort caused by a discrepancy between a person’s gender at birth (called assigned gender) and the gender they feel themselves to be (affirmed gender). Children with gender dysphoria experience great anguish as a result of feeling “trapped” inside a body that does not match the gender that feels right to them” (Child Mind Institute). I found this lovley little graphic on Instagram @stop_imgay I, personally, feel social dysphoria the most when I’m meeting new people. I sweat bullets every time I think about telling someone about my pronouns (they/them), I hate knowing most people assume I’m a girl but am unsure of what I would do if someone assumed I was a boy. I don’t know, cry, probably. I feel like body dysphoria is the most discussed type of gender dysphoria. It’s not a 24/7 worry, for me, but it pops up in certain situations like if I’m in front of a mirror (yes, every time), getting my photo taken, or picking out my clothes. It also mixes with social dysphoria a lot. I think body dysphoria is hard as a still-half-in-the-closet disabled teenager because I am stressed out about:
Mind. That’s the hardest. Not just to explain, but to deal with. I basically just question everything I say or do with “Was that too girly? Stop, you’re allowed to be girly. Well, maybe I don’t wanna be. It totally was. Am I not trans enough? Back to the original question….” There are different kinds of gender dysphoria and each one feels different for everyone. Lots of transgender people don’t experience gender dysphoria. Strangely, that is a controversial topic because some people think a person must experience dysphoria to be trans, ie. that without it, they aren’t really trans. And I want to clear that up, right now: plenty of transgender people don’t feel any gender dysphoria at all. Having gender dysphoria doesn’t make you transgender, just like not having doesn’t make you cisgender. Read more: “Not All Transgender People Have Dysphoria – And Here Are 6 Reasons Why That Matters” by Sam Dylan Finch (Everyday Feminism)
Some people chose to use hormones and/or to physically change their body to better fit their gender identity. Not all people who are transgender want top and/or bottom gender reassignment surgery. These surgeries can be invasive and expensive. Some people just never want one. It does not make them more or less transgender. (Sidenote: never, ever ask anyone, especially not someone you don’t know, what kind of genitals they have. I shouldn’t have to explain this. Just. Don’t.) All major medical organizations in the United States recognize that living according to one’s gender identity is an effective, safe and medically necessary treatment for many people who have gender dysphoria” (National Center for Transgender Equality, FAQs). How young can you know you're trans?I saw a screenshotted Reddit post on Instagram that I’d like to talk about. Some people know they are transgender their whole lives, since they were a kid. You’ve probably heard someone say something along the lines of, “Kids are too young to know they’re trans!” And maybe, if you’re lucky, “I identified as a dinosaur when I was that age! Kids don’t know what they are talking about!” The thing is, they are so very wrong. For starters, they didn’t “identify as a dinosaur” as a kid. They may have been obsessed with learning about them and even pretending to be one, but they didn’t think they were a dinosaur. To quote the mysterious Reddit user: “You didn’t cry yourself to sleep because you couldn’t figure out why you had no tail. You didn’t feel an inexplicable sense of shame at your lack of claws. When you looked in the mirror, in a dinosaur costume, you weren’t upset about all the non-dinosaur bits you could still see. When others saw the costume, you weren’t brought to tears by them treating you like a child-wearing-a-costume instead of a real dinosaur.” Kids play make-believe all the time and sometimes it feels really real to them, at the moment, and that’s okay. But, being transgender just isn’t something kids play make-believe about. “If a child told you that they were hearing voices, you wouldn’t care that they were too young to understand schizophrenia.” There's a lot of ways to "understand" gender. It's a complicated part of identity, especially if you are trans. But, the knowledge in your heart and soul that you are [your gender] is always there. There’s rarely a question that a child can be sure of their gender identity when it aligns with their biological sex. We make it pretty clear to kids what a girl is vs. what a boy is in school and with toys and TV. They pick up on that. We can’t keep kids from exploring themselves and loving themselves. Feeling sure of your gender and knowing how you want to express yourself is a truly wonderful feeling. Another thing...This came up in my research and I just want to leave it here. “Being transgender is not considered a medical condition [however] many transgender people [still] need to deal with physical and mental health problems because of widespread discrimination and stigma. Many transgender people live in a society that tells them that their deeply held identity is wrong or deviant. Some transgender people have lost their families, their jobs, their homes, and their support, and some experience harassment and even violence. Transgender children may experience rejection or even emotional or physical abuse at home, at school, or in their communities. These kinds of experiences can be challenging for anyone, and for some people, it can lead to anxiety disorders, depression, and other mental health conditions. But these conditions are not caused by having a transgender identity: they're a result of the intolerance many transgender people have to deal with. Many transgender people – especially transgender people who are accepted and valued in their communities – are able to live healthy and fulfilling lives” (National Center for Transgender Equality, FAQs). There is this wonderful group, called Side By Side, that does many, many more things for the queer community than I can hope to fit in this post. One of those things is that they hold groups for LGBTQ+ youth. It’s a long, wonderful story about how I found them and what my first meetings (years ago) meant to me; a story for another time. Today, I went to a meeting for the first time in months, and it happened to be an evening with an extended sharing. This meant that anyone who wanted to (there were about 20 of us, 14-20-years-old) could raise our hand to present a personal share or problem. One person at a time, raised their hands and spoke for as long as they need to. After they finished, they said whether or not they wanted feedback/comments. This went on for about 45 minutes. I want to explain why this was so wonderful. First, the person would give a content warning if they felt it was necessary. You might know it as a “trigger warning.” Before they started, a person would give such disclaimers (if they were going to mention suicide, physical abuse, etc.) and a moment for anyone who need to, to leave the room for the moment. Next, the person would speak. And it was hard. People spoke about some positive things, but also about experiencing severe dysphoria, lack of parental support, and other personal pain. After they were done, they could request or deny feedback. When they invited commentary, again, people would raise their hands. And a few people usually spoke to each topic. We shared personal connections if we related to the topic, advice, and vocalized support. The best explanation I have for this is that it was a beautiful and fulfilling experience. I enjoyed the other people in the group, as well as the facilitators. There were three “leaders,” all in their late twenties. One of them spoke the most, but never took priority over what the group need to share. This led to a true opportunity for peer support, not being talked at. I appreciated the space she gave us to talk. I will definitely be back. It won’t all be free discussion, like tonight, as in, there might be evenings with scheduled topics. But, now I can trust that it is a safe space. And, yeah, that’s pretty exceptional. I identify as pansexual. And… I know that I’ve already lost some of you. I am still working on explaining this, not because it’s a new or crazy concept, but because there’s a lot of heteronormative toxicity to break down. But, here goes... I will start with what bisexual means. Bisexual is a sexuality that is defined by being sexually and/or romantically (that gets complicated*) attracted to both the same and opposite gender (usually men and women). And that’s great, but it’s different from pansexual. Pansexuality (pan, meaning all in Greek) has to do more with “heart over parts” in general. The idea is that I can fall in love with anyone, man, woman, or nonbinary person, because of their soul. It doesn’t mean I don’t have a type or find some people particularly attractive. I find it to be a more inclusive term that includes transgender and nb peeps without question. When I first heard of this term, pansexual, I was ecstatic, that it existed, because it felt like it actually fit, the first term to do so. I did not expect the push back, especially from the LGBTQ+ community. Some people ask why I don’t just say bi, or that pansexuality doesn’t exist at all. Also, note that this doesn’t mean I am attracted to everyone. That would be like a heterosexual woman being attracted to every single man she sees, like, no. Being LGBTQ+ means knowing that it isn’t a choice to be. Whether you want to/can/will embrace it depends on a plethora of matters. With labels, you get a choice, and that’s why I like them. But, some people don’t and THAT’S OKAY. I have friends who say they’re queer and leave it at that because any specifics don’t matter unless the conversation is with the person they have a crush on, or whatever. Others will just shrug, if you ask, and go, “Meh.” I think sexuality is fluid and it can change over time, and so does your understanding of yourself. If you spend one month or one decade calling yourself a lesbian and later find out you are bi or straight or none of the above, that’s okay. You can call it a phase if you want, but life is full of phases because things change. If you find a term, or lack therefore, that makes you comfortable, I hope you can use it (even if only in your head).
I started realizing I wasn’t straight in sixth grade and it took me three years to get to nonbinary and another to discover pansexuality. And that is pretty fast! Some people know when they are 5-years-old that they are gay™ and some people figure it out when they are 70-years-old, and that’s okay. There is no timeline or correct way to figure yourself out. I mean, unless, you are holding on to a handbook, please, let me know. I admit that I am a bit of a hopeless romantic. Or a lot of one. It made not understanding my own feelings even more difficult. I didn’t know if everyone felt this way or if all I would ever know is a vague lust, but never love. It sounds dramatic, I know, but I hadn’t admitting these feelings of confusion to anyone, and as a result, never found someone to tell me that I wasn’t wrong. I wasn’t sick. I am as normal as the next person. In the sense that neither of us are. I feel love painfully strongly. This ache shows up in my writing, in how I protect my friends, and, yeah, in the way that some crushes can make me lose my balance for a moment. But, I wouldn’t trade my intensity or the depth of my love for anything. It is a strength, not a weakness. I find power in my labels. It is my way to claim my identity and take control back. I’m the type of person who likes clear lines and definitions. That choice, to figure out a label, to share it or not, is so important. I like being able to tell a group of queer people that I am a nonbinary pansexual person and them getting it immediately. That is a good feeling to me. If I run across someone who hasn’t heard of it, I often will try to explain a bit, but sometimes I just shrug and say, “Meh.” * There are two main types of attraction (not including platonic, etc.):
GenderSpectrum.org is a good reference if you are searching for further explanations When I first saw a mention of this certain incident on social media, I didn’t believe it. I scrolled through a dozen different news outlets wishing it wasn’t true. Here’s a link for an article about it on NBC News (10.9.18): https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/virginia-school-allegedly-barred-trans-student-active-shooter-drill-n918216. What is it exactly? In Virginia public schools, active shooter drills occur every month or so. But, apparently, even with that repetition, some teachers just can’t get it. In Stafford County Middle School, last this September, some students were in gym class when the alarm sounded. I wrote this letter (displayed below) to the school. I cried at the story. I hope it doesn’t happen again. The teachers divided the kids, putting the girls in the girl’s locker room and the boys in the boy’s locker room. Instead of noting that the spaces were for stimulating hiding from a potential deadly assailant, they alienating a single student because of her gender identity. They made a transgender student sit outside, in the hall, while the teachers spoke. They debated, openly in front of her, which space would be safest for the other students, for her to be in. Their transphobia is painfully evident. The school board is taking the blame over the teacher, I believe. And I understand that. But, at the same time, I remember having to participate in those drills. They were scary and, after a while, an annoyance. My first “code red” was while I was in kindergarten. And since then, I have had two incidents that were real, or at the very least, possible real threats. The one that was real, there was a man with an unknown predictability with a gun nearby. I almost got locked out of the building, alone. “[1] In Virginia, there are no statewide anti-bullying laws to protect students based on sexual orientation and gender identity. [2] There are statewide anti-discrimination laws, but they do not clearly include sexual orientation or gender identity.” https://sexetc.org/action-center/sex-in-the-states/ I'm having a hard time putting it into words, but school shootings are a very prevalent possibility. We are talking about a child in middle school, around 12 years old, being humiliated, belittled, and dehumanized by her teachers. She spoke a bit to the press, just saying how scared she was. She was embarrassed because she had a panic attack in front of all her classmates. She got on National news, people. I think it's important to see these issues. Sometimes it's easy
The bigger the issue, the smaller you write. Remember that. You don't write about the horrors of war. No. You write about a kid's burnt socks lying on the road. You pick the smallest manageable part of the big think, and you work off the resonance. After all that, I saw an article by NY Magazine, that interviewed suriviors of school shootings. They were short quotes, sometimes much bigger than the day itself. Just profound. Another reccomended reading.
My friend and I, co-founders of our local SAGA club, have compiled a living document, a list of songs, Youtubers and videos, out and proud people, books (fiction and non-fiction), TV shows, movies, misc. formats, articles, TED Talks, other resources, and some hotlines. I hope you find something helpful or intriguing. Feel free to share as you see fit!
There are plenty of things I wish I had time travel for, in order to undo my past. In an attempt to miss that long-winded conversation, I will narrow in and simplify to knowledge that would have helped me when I was first coming out. Scratch that, and step back to me even beginning to understand more complex pieces of my identity.
First, I was like: Easy! Lesbian. But, even that was scary in the area I live in. I was made fun of for being gay before I fully came to the conclusion on my own. After that I came out to my mom, for the first time, as bisexual. I never admitted that I only thought I like boys because of the heteronormative society we live in, and therefore I must be subconsciously ashamed to be gay. Which I was. It is pretty hard to avoid that when you grow up in rural Virginia and being Latinx from a strictly Catholic family. Both of which communities can rewrite the books on themselves. I am trying to say I understand. It has taken me years to identify and feel comfortable with my queerness as a genderfluid nonbinary pansexual. Maybe those seem like big words, but labels are comforting to me. Some people make fun of how many labels there are and say things like, “how am I supposed to keep track of them?” The truth is, you can’t always. I read up on as much as I can, but the important thing is if something tells me they use this term I respect it. Lesbians are valid. Genderqueer people are valid. Demisexuals and aromantics are sooooo valid. I wish someone reassured me of that. I’ve had a girl argue with me that there is not such thing as pansexual. Long story short she said there were only bisexual and panromantics because of schematics. But guess what? I still can say I’m pansexual. No one can take that away from me. At the same time: You don’t need a label. You can use queer or gay as umbrella terms, plenty of people do. Being proud of your identity doesn’t mean you have to have a word for it. Be proud of yourself, in whatever way that means for you. You are whatever you say you are (eg. You can be bisexual and only have dated girls). To clarify, my gender identity is valid. It's complicated sure, but gender does not exist on a binary. Cis guys and girls are legit, but so are transgender folk and queerbies. One body, much less one word, can't always contain all of the pieces a person holds of the universe. So, even if you are cishet*, allow yourself to explore your body. Self-love is so important! And whether this means trying different styles of clothes, or just adjusting your own expectations you've placed on yourself (toxic masculinity is a conversation for another time), it can be freeing.
When I say I am nonbinary, I mean that some days I am male. Others female or neither. Or both. It's sort of hard to explain if you don't experience it because it just happens, it isn't a choice. Gender is more one of those color palettes on computers where you can choose any color. Yeah, each color is a gender. For different people, it can fluctuate between intensity or go from purple to yellow all together. You don't have to understand something to respect it. Nobody could possibly understand every experience ever had in human history. I just try to remember that everyone is struggling in their own way. Click here for a simple explanation on schematics. So, if you end up commenting or mentioning me, it'd be nice. No retaliation if you don't because I will never know, but it's good practice. It was jarring to me when I first saw them being used. But, you get over it because people don't usually bother if it isn't important to them. Here is an article I found cute, on a mother explaining her own experience with a nonbinary child of her own. This post feels silly, but our society likes labels and looks. How I am safe to express myself with clothing and such, is another matter. It's like I'm a trans alien, watching the cishets and mirroring their strange movements to fit in, LOL. * A cisgender heterosexual. Gender matches sex identified at birth and likes the opposite sex. Ex. A person born with a penis and labeled male at birth: feels like a boy and is physically and romantically attracted to females. I've always been a feminist. It's not a dirty word; I'm not afraid to shout the truth that all genders are equal because, well, all people are. That's where it gets tricky for me. You may have heard the term "intersectionality" within the conversation about feminism, a word that was coined to remind the movement to remember WOCs and disabled women, to include fat women and sex workers, and to not let anyone fall through the cracks. So, if you find yourself being a "white feminist," i.e. Susan B. Anthony, make sure to check yourself. And I do that. But, just like in many sensitive issues, I don't want to overstep, especially when I do not know where I fit. The feminist movement is to empower women and give them their rightful place in society, equal to men, that should never have been taken away. Women lifting up other women. And men, they have a spot too. They have a chance to be allies, to step aside for a moment. My question is: what if you are in the middle? I may be an AFAB (assigned female at birth), and I am not a transman, but it gets more complicated than that. An explanation about all the schismatics and my continued search at my gender is to be saved for another day. That said, a wonderful term has been brought up into more circles: nonbinary. Simply said, I don't fit. I am neither female or male, but sometimes I both. See, complicated. The problem I am posing is how I can fit in the conversation. I face issues women do, but there are days I don't want to get stuck in that image because I feel so far away, but I am not always at the liberty to out myself in every discussion. I feel strongly on the issue and the most leading reason is that PEOPLE ARE ALL EQUAL. It's literally in my religion. I've been reading more about gender theory and even philosophy expanding to biological sex not being as meaningful as we think, and it really throws you. The way it breaks down, for me, is this:
Every human is born a clean slate. And then the universe throws shit upon shit upon years of shit. And we take it. Everyone has to grow up and learn to take the hurt, the good, the messy and turn it into... something, at least. And we don't need to throw extra challenges on top of how hard life is with hate and bias. So, the least anyone can do is help out the people who didn't get that message and the people who were hit with that. Because we are all here. Whether we like it or not. |
Who Am I?Hi there! I'm Whit, my pronouns are they/them, and I write a lot.
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Painting by Whit Acrylics on masonite April 20th, 2019 Words are a Quaker saying. George Fox? |