“You’ve lost weight!”
“You look good!” “You look skinny!” Stop. I didn’t ask. I know I’ve lost weight. I’m allowed to have my feelings about that, but unless I bring it up in conversation and somehow make it clear that I want your opinion on my body- please, keep it to yourself. This applies to everyone, all of the time. Whether or not someone has lost weight on purpose in a healthy way, their beauty and value have not changed. Acting as if it did is toxic, especially for people already struggling with unhealthy eating habits/anxieties (something you may not be aware of). Skinny does not equal healthy any more than fat equals unhealthy. I lost weight because I went from being in a wheelchair with almost no exercise for six months to suddenly walking and exercising this spring. I also had a life-threatening infection in my leg that had been trying to kill me for a year and a half before anyone realized it was there. I had three surgeries and spent five weeks in the hospital between late October 2019 and early February 2020. I was on intense IV antibiotics for months, medication that made me tired and nauseous constantly. I am still on some antibiotics and it is still messing up my stomach. The reason I am not eating as much isn’t because “I’m trying,” it’s because I was sick and am still getting better. None of the reasons I forget to eat are healthy. Some days, I don’t get hungry, so I have to be reminded to eat. There are days when even the thought of eating makes me feel sick to my stomach. But neither of those compare to the worst reason I wasn’t eating- it only lasted a few days, but it was terrifying and the reason I am writing this post- I didn’t want to. I liked hearing those comments I know are toxic. People had stopped calling me beautiful, had stopped calling my body anything but “strong,” a long time ago. Finally hearing those things- even though I knew they were rooted in harmful expectations of women and misogyny the speakers don’t realize they were brainwashed by- felt good. They made it easy to slip back into a dangerous narrative of “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.” NO. NOPE. STOP IT, WHIT. Food is fuel. Wanting to lose weight is fine as long as you do it through healthy lifestyle changes in diet and exercise. Withholding food is a slippery slope. I caught myself and asked for help and worked through it. For that, I feel lucky. I have friends who have not had such ease. I tried to talk to my GP about my concern over my (at times alarming) decreased appetite. Do you know what he, a grown man with a medical degree said to me, an 18-year-old girl? “I wish I had that problem.” Then, he laughed. And that’s the story of how he lost most of the respect I had for him. I am writing this hoping to reach two groups of people (and those who might fit in both categories):
1 Comment
|
Who Am I?Hi there! I'm Whit, my pronouns are they/them, and I write a lot.
Learn more about me here :) Click the button to read my poetry. Categories
All
All posts since April 2018 tagged at least once.
Archives
April 2021
Header
Painting by Whit Acrylics on masonite April 20th, 2019 Words are a Quaker saying. George Fox? |