There is this wonderful group, called Side By Side, that does many, many more things for the queer community than I can hope to fit in this post. One of those things is that they hold groups for LGBTQ+ youth. It’s a long, wonderful story about how I found them and what my first meetings (years ago) meant to me; a story for another time. Today, I went to a meeting for the first time in months, and it happened to be an evening with an extended sharing. This meant that anyone who wanted to (there were about 20 of us, 14-20-years-old) could raise our hand to present a personal share or problem. One person at a time, raised their hands and spoke for as long as they need to. After they finished, they said whether or not they wanted feedback/comments. This went on for about 45 minutes. I want to explain why this was so wonderful. First, the person would give a content warning if they felt it was necessary. You might know it as a “trigger warning.” Before they started, a person would give such disclaimers (if they were going to mention suicide, physical abuse, etc.) and a moment for anyone who need to, to leave the room for the moment. Next, the person would speak. And it was hard. People spoke about some positive things, but also about experiencing severe dysphoria, lack of parental support, and other personal pain. After they were done, they could request or deny feedback. When they invited commentary, again, people would raise their hands. And a few people usually spoke to each topic. We shared personal connections if we related to the topic, advice, and vocalized support. The best explanation I have for this is that it was a beautiful and fulfilling experience. I enjoyed the other people in the group, as well as the facilitators. There were three “leaders,” all in their late twenties. One of them spoke the most, but never took priority over what the group need to share. This led to a true opportunity for peer support, not being talked at. I appreciated the space she gave us to talk. I will definitely be back. It won’t all be free discussion, like tonight, as in, there might be evenings with scheduled topics. But, now I can trust that it is a safe space. And, yeah, that’s pretty exceptional.
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Who Am I?Hi there! I'm Whit, my pronouns are they/them, and I write a lot.
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Painting by Whit Acrylics on masonite April 20th, 2019 Words are a Quaker saying. George Fox? |