I have had this blog for seven or eight years, at times writing twice a week, at times once a month. Now, I feel it is time for a fresh start. Sort of.
because words will have musings and reviews, as I had here and poetry as I had on my other blog, Whit’s Poetry Blog, which I am also shutting down. I am not deleting either, they aren’t going anywhere, but I will only be updating my new website from here on out. That being said, I have some writing from both blogs that I hope to edit and re-post on because words, which is where the “sort of” comes from. I don’t know how many posts I’ve published here or how many times I’ve changed the format, added pages, photos, quotes, but I know it’s been fun and taught me a lot. Fun fact: a group of jellyfish is called a smack. And that’s where “A Smack of Everything” came from. Another fun fact: I learned that fact in 3rd grade and I haven’t learned anything since. (yeah, I got jokes☺️) https://becausewords.wixsite.com/becausewords
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It can be hard to know what to say when there is to much you want to scream. I have stayed in my fictional universe of my book for the past few months. It is easier there. I am in control. My characters aren’t in any less of a mess, though. Every day, I work on my book and its sequel and try not to get pulled too far into the third book and I… survive. I've written tens of thousands of words and gone through countless drafts. I don't have many more answers than I started with. That's okay. It's enough. There is much I have wanted to blog about, things that are going on in the world, much-needed conversations many are having, but it’s been enough to hear and read about it and process it on my own. I hope I find the words with time. Until then, I want to share some of the art I have been working on this spring and summer.
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Postcards (5"x3-4")Full Size Pages (9"x12")Caught By Time - a poemPaused.
sea glass in the sun a place a breath out of time feel the roar the rhythm hear the voices of souls lost to the ocean so long ago it has become their home sink your toes into the sand dig your fingers in brace yourself the cold will hit and it will shock your system to its core it will run fingers you can't catch along your skin to say hello the only way it can water liquid ice caught by time for a moment Paused. Photo source uncertain due to the abundance of reposts. I believe it was originally uploaded by @pennyyfanee on Tumblr years ago. I found it reposted to Instagram with comments on @bosoftumblr.
(late)UPDATE: 12/5/20
Matthew has recieved a conditional and partial pardon from Governor Northam. He "is expected to be released sometime in early 2021... He’s been incarcerated since the night of the accident, which occurred Jan. 4, 2019" according to the Virginian-Pilot. The pardon reduces his sentence, but does not wipe out his conviction. "Rushin will be on supervised probation for five years and must get mental health treatment, counseling and a substance abuse evaluation," (VP).
This is not an absolute pardon and he is still not free. I was so happy and hopeful when I heard he was pardoned and going home. After reading the articles below, I am still glad things are happening but... the amount of people, signatures, letters, laywers, time, money, hastags were needed to get this far terrifies me because a. it's still not enough and b. there are so many people who never get attention. Sources:
Content warning for the video below: it describes the night of the accident and what followed in detail, it is powerful and explains the situation well, which is what makes it really hard to watch. “URGENT: Matthew Rushin is in Prison for Being Black and Autistic,” Terravance (Nueroclastic).
This article is part one of a growing series about the unjust imprisonment of a 19-year-old black autistic man. The author explains what happened, what the cops claimed happened, and what should have happened. Yes, it is all on tape. She provides information about autism that will ensure you understand how horrible this was. No one should have to go through what he did, but for him, I can only imagine how the pain was ten times worse.
Matthew was in a car accident, both him and the other driver got hurt, but no one died and no one pressed charges. Even against the overwhelming, clear evidence that it was an accident, he was sentenced to 50 years, 40 suspended, for 2nd-degree manslaughter. He has been in prison for over a year without ever getting the medical help he desperately needs for the brain injury he suffered in the accident. And that’s the least of it. He was a mechanical engineering student at Old Dominion University with a bright future. He had ADHD, PTSD from a previous car accident that almost killed him, and anxiety on top of a severe traumatic brain injury. He was criminalized because of his skin color and taken advantage of because of his disability. I have so much more to say about this… but I can’t. I don’t know where to start. For now, I want to share his story and asking that you sign this petition, “Free Matthew Rushin (Autistic College Student @ ODU),” on Change.org. If you want to donate to help him, do so to his family’s fund for his legal defense team on GoFundMe and NOT on Change.org (profits do not go to the family). Share his story on social media if you can. I’ve also been writing to every media/government source I find with incorrect information. He deserves a pardon from the governor of Virginia, Ralph Northam. I plan to write to him, as well. I cried for him. I prayed for him. It is time to speak up for him and help him get free. Related articles
“You’ve lost weight!”
“You look good!” “You look skinny!” Stop. I didn’t ask. I know I’ve lost weight. I’m allowed to have my feelings about that, but unless I bring it up in conversation and somehow make it clear that I want your opinion on my body- please, keep it to yourself. This applies to everyone, all of the time. Whether or not someone has lost weight on purpose in a healthy way, their beauty and value have not changed. Acting as if it did is toxic, especially for people already struggling with unhealthy eating habits/anxieties (something you may not be aware of). Skinny does not equal healthy any more than fat equals unhealthy. I lost weight because I went from being in a wheelchair with almost no exercise for six months to suddenly walking and exercising this spring. I also had a life-threatening infection in my leg that had been trying to kill me for a year and a half before anyone realized it was there. I had three surgeries and spent five weeks in the hospital between late October 2019 and early February 2020. I was on intense IV antibiotics for months, medication that made me tired and nauseous constantly. I am still on some antibiotics and it is still messing up my stomach. The reason I am not eating as much isn’t because “I’m trying,” it’s because I was sick and am still getting better. None of the reasons I forget to eat are healthy. Some days, I don’t get hungry, so I have to be reminded to eat. There are days when even the thought of eating makes me feel sick to my stomach. But neither of those compare to the worst reason I wasn’t eating- it only lasted a few days, but it was terrifying and the reason I am writing this post- I didn’t want to. I liked hearing those comments I know are toxic. People had stopped calling me beautiful, had stopped calling my body anything but “strong,” a long time ago. Finally hearing those things- even though I knew they were rooted in harmful expectations of women and misogyny the speakers don’t realize they were brainwashed by- felt good. They made it easy to slip back into a dangerous narrative of “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.” NO. NOPE. STOP IT, WHIT. Food is fuel. Wanting to lose weight is fine as long as you do it through healthy lifestyle changes in diet and exercise. Withholding food is a slippery slope. I caught myself and asked for help and worked through it. For that, I feel lucky. I have friends who have not had such ease. I tried to talk to my GP about my concern over my (at times alarming) decreased appetite. Do you know what he, a grown man with a medical degree said to me, an 18-year-old girl? “I wish I had that problem.” Then, he laughed. And that’s the story of how he lost most of the respect I had for him. I am writing this hoping to reach two groups of people (and those who might fit in both categories):
"Just Stay Home and Color" |
In less than 15 minutes, Emily Quinn forced me to rethink everything I thought I knew about sex and gender in her TedTalk “The way we think about biological sex is wrong.” Emily uses humor and storytelling to share what it’s like to be intersex and works to promote the celebration of differences (instead of shame). Here, she talks about biological sex and gender and all the different ways they can pair together. | |
- Gender is much more complex: It’s a social and legal status, and set of expectations from society, about behaviors, characteristics, and thoughts. Each culture has standards about the way that people should behave based on their gender. This is also generally male or female. But instead of being about body parts, it’s more about how you’re expected to act, because of your sex.
- Gender identity is how you feel inside and how you express your gender through clothing, behavior, and personal appearance. It’s a feeling that begins very early in life. (Planned Parenthood)
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Instead, the ERA will replace this equality under the law with the enforced interchangeability between men and women. While men and women are indeed equal, both common sense and science tell us they are not precisely the same. There are still some situations in which treating men and women precisely alike could harm women or even put them in danger.
The ERA could threaten hundreds of laws that recognize the genuine distinctions between the sexes. For example, women-only prisons, public school locker rooms, and public university sports teams could become illegal, and daughters could be forced into a combat draft alongside sons.
Programs that currently primarily provide benefits to mothers of young children or stay-at-home wives, such as Social Security spousal benefits or the women, infants, and children supplementary nutrition program, could be hauled into court. Even grants for battered women’s shelters or programs to encourage STEM interest among girls could be suspect. (6-8)
Sometimes you don’t know the gender of a single person. Sometimes it doesn’t matter. “Did the mailman come today? Did they bring my package?” This is also the preferred pronouns of many people who are gender non-conforming. Their hair looks great. | |
“Of course ‘irregardless’ wasn’t a real word. ‘It’s a made-up word that was entered into the dictionary through constant use;’” she wrote. That’s how it works. “that’s pretty much how this racket works. “All words are made-up: Do you think we find them fully formed on the ocean floor, or mine for them in some remote part of Wales?” (pg. 65)
PS. If you're uncomfortable using these pronouns, remember that the person asking is probably even more uncomfortable. I know that I am terrified of the reaction every time say my pronouns to someone for the first time, I am scared they will argue with me or worse. | I used to use she/her pronouns and that was fine, but then came the day I met someone who used they/them pronouns... my world exploded. No one changes their pronouns because they think it’s fun. It sucks because people invalidate me every day. People try to argue that it's "not a thing," but don't want to listen to my proof that it is. I continue to use it because I cringe a little every time I hear someone refer to me as she and I deserve better. When I hear someone refer to me as "they" instead of "she", I feel this wonderful, warm flutter in my chest that makes me feel like I’m going to be okay. I feel like I might be able to exist happily as a nonbinary person one day. |
We think of English as a child. We love and nurture it into being, and once it gains gross motor skills, it starts going exactly where we don’t want it to go: it heads right for the goddamned electrical sockets. We dress it in fancy clothes and tell it to behave, and it comes home with its underwear on its head and wearing someone else’s socks. As English grows, it lives its own life, and this is right and healthy, Sometimes English does exactly what we think it should; sometimes it goes places we don’t like and thrives there in spite of all our worrying. We can tell it to clean itself up and act more like Latin; we can throw tantrums and start learning French instead. But we will never really be the boss of it. And that’s why it flourishes.” (pg. 51; end of chapter 3, “It’s - On ‘Grammar’”
* Photos found online, I don't have copyright.
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If you listen to it on Spotify, "If The Earth Could Sing," let me know how it makes you feel. I created this collage* to express how it affects me.
One song in the playlist really got in my head. The more I listened to it, the more I have found "Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up)" by the Florence + The Machine to be incredibly haunting. This is a gift |
Jeffery Bien tweeted, "I just want everyone to know that my two-year old insisted on being 'pants' for Halloween..." and later clarified, "If you're curious, he requested that my wife be 'a big shirt' and I 'a purple hat' and we complied because we love him very much/ don't know how to say no yet."
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Tik Tok got more popular and produced videos such as this one:
Of course, I can't leave out baby yoda. Only, like, two people have actually watched "The Maldorian," and yet, somehow, it's taken over the internet. It's wonderful. I like this one especially.
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