Gender dysphoria. Whether you experience it yourself and feel like an expert or you have no idea what I’m talking about: that’s okay, please, keep reading. What is gender dysphoria? “For some transgender people, the difference between the gender they are thought to be at birth and the gender they know themselves to be can lead to serious emotional distress that affects their health and everyday lives if not addressed. Gender dysphoria is the medical diagnosis for someone who experiences this distress” (National Center for Transgender Equality, FAQs). “Gender dysphoria is extreme discomfort caused by a discrepancy between a person’s gender at birth (called assigned gender) and the gender they feel themselves to be (affirmed gender). Children with gender dysphoria experience great anguish as a result of feeling “trapped” inside a body that does not match the gender that feels right to them” (Child Mind Institute). I found this lovley little graphic on Instagram @stop_imgay I, personally, feel social dysphoria the most when I’m meeting new people. I sweat bullets every time I think about telling someone about my pronouns (they/them), I hate knowing most people assume I’m a girl but am unsure of what I would do if someone assumed I was a boy. I don’t know, cry, probably. I feel like body dysphoria is the most discussed type of gender dysphoria. It’s not a 24/7 worry, for me, but it pops up in certain situations like if I’m in front of a mirror (yes, every time), getting my photo taken, or picking out my clothes. It also mixes with social dysphoria a lot. I think body dysphoria is hard as a still-half-in-the-closet disabled teenager because I am stressed out about:
Mind. That’s the hardest. Not just to explain, but to deal with. I basically just question everything I say or do with “Was that too girly? Stop, you’re allowed to be girly. Well, maybe I don’t wanna be. It totally was. Am I not trans enough? Back to the original question….” There are different kinds of gender dysphoria and each one feels different for everyone. Lots of transgender people don’t experience gender dysphoria. Strangely, that is a controversial topic because some people think a person must experience dysphoria to be trans, ie. that without it, they aren’t really trans. And I want to clear that up, right now: plenty of transgender people don’t feel any gender dysphoria at all. Having gender dysphoria doesn’t make you transgender, just like not having doesn’t make you cisgender. Read more: “Not All Transgender People Have Dysphoria – And Here Are 6 Reasons Why That Matters” by Sam Dylan Finch (Everyday Feminism)
Some people chose to use hormones and/or to physically change their body to better fit their gender identity. Not all people who are transgender want top and/or bottom gender reassignment surgery. These surgeries can be invasive and expensive. Some people just never want one. It does not make them more or less transgender. (Sidenote: never, ever ask anyone, especially not someone you don’t know, what kind of genitals they have. I shouldn’t have to explain this. Just. Don’t.) All major medical organizations in the United States recognize that living according to one’s gender identity is an effective, safe and medically necessary treatment for many people who have gender dysphoria” (National Center for Transgender Equality, FAQs). How young can you know you're trans?I saw a screenshotted Reddit post on Instagram that I’d like to talk about. Some people know they are transgender their whole lives, since they were a kid. You’ve probably heard someone say something along the lines of, “Kids are too young to know they’re trans!” And maybe, if you’re lucky, “I identified as a dinosaur when I was that age! Kids don’t know what they are talking about!” The thing is, they are so very wrong. For starters, they didn’t “identify as a dinosaur” as a kid. They may have been obsessed with learning about them and even pretending to be one, but they didn’t think they were a dinosaur. To quote the mysterious Reddit user: “You didn’t cry yourself to sleep because you couldn’t figure out why you had no tail. You didn’t feel an inexplicable sense of shame at your lack of claws. When you looked in the mirror, in a dinosaur costume, you weren’t upset about all the non-dinosaur bits you could still see. When others saw the costume, you weren’t brought to tears by them treating you like a child-wearing-a-costume instead of a real dinosaur.” Kids play make-believe all the time and sometimes it feels really real to them, at the moment, and that’s okay. But, being transgender just isn’t something kids play make-believe about. “If a child told you that they were hearing voices, you wouldn’t care that they were too young to understand schizophrenia.” There's a lot of ways to "understand" gender. It's a complicated part of identity, especially if you are trans. But, the knowledge in your heart and soul that you are [your gender] is always there. There’s rarely a question that a child can be sure of their gender identity when it aligns with their biological sex. We make it pretty clear to kids what a girl is vs. what a boy is in school and with toys and TV. They pick up on that. We can’t keep kids from exploring themselves and loving themselves. Feeling sure of your gender and knowing how you want to express yourself is a truly wonderful feeling. Another thing...This came up in my research and I just want to leave it here. “Being transgender is not considered a medical condition [however] many transgender people [still] need to deal with physical and mental health problems because of widespread discrimination and stigma. Many transgender people live in a society that tells them that their deeply held identity is wrong or deviant. Some transgender people have lost their families, their jobs, their homes, and their support, and some experience harassment and even violence. Transgender children may experience rejection or even emotional or physical abuse at home, at school, or in their communities. These kinds of experiences can be challenging for anyone, and for some people, it can lead to anxiety disorders, depression, and other mental health conditions. But these conditions are not caused by having a transgender identity: they're a result of the intolerance many transgender people have to deal with. Many transgender people – especially transgender people who are accepted and valued in their communities – are able to live healthy and fulfilling lives” (National Center for Transgender Equality, FAQs).
3 Comments
Suzy
11/12/2019 06:37:45 pm
Wow. So much to think about. So much in here that had never occurred to me. So much in here for you to deal with. Damn, you really write beautifully. And I love you and can't wait to see you.
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leigh
11/16/2019 05:14:50 am
This really helped me understand gender dysphoria and what you and my other trans/non-binary friends go through. Thanks for writing this! :)
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Karolinekay
2/27/2021 03:22:59 am
Wow awesome and very well written sure cleared up some things that have been locked up inside for a very long time .
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Who Am I?Hi there! I'm Whit, my pronouns are they/them, and I write a lot.
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